Kayla’s Cake

As soon as I stepped into the grocery store I knew today wasn’t going to go my way. I really was tempted to just turn around and go home, but I needed eggs and milk for Kayla’s birthday cake, so I ignored the thing eating the flowers at the front door, and carried on to the dairy aisle.

The “thing” I’m referring to is something from my universe, I don’t own the universe, I meant the universe I come from, I’m not that egocentric, but you probably already knew what I meant, and now I’m elaborating too much and you’re going to think that I see you as stupid, I really don’t, humans are quite intelligent, I just talk too much, and now I probably have to start a new paragraph, sorry. 

The creature probably got here the same way I did, which was accidental portal jumping, I don’t know exactly how it works, so don’t ask me. I don’t think that anyone else here can see it as it really is, which is a very good thing because if they could see it’s six legs and giant spiraled horns I think they would kind of freak out a bit. I am going to describe it to you now because I’m not the biggest fan of the mystery game, but you have to make sure not to laugh because if you do it can hear you and it will go after you.

First of all it is bright blue, a sort of dark blue raspberry blue that makes you want to vomit, and I love blue raspberry, it’s my favorite slushie flavor and probably one of the best things humanity has invented. Second, it looks like a drunk yak that just finished giving birth to a bucket of fried chicken. Third, it has a huge tail like a cat. 

Of course, most people here will see it as a horse. Hopefully, no one will touch it, because it’s venomous and very sensitive about personal space, but that’s just how rhizous are.

 I finished my 9 AM shopping and went to the cash register. Then I had to stop in my tracks because I saw the owner of the rhizou. They were tall, thin, and pale to the point that a blue glow surrounded their skin. They were wearing a uniform that shone bright black in the morning sun (if you people had better eyes, you would understand). This person is, of course, an officer from my universe, and I illegally immigrated from there, so I didn’t hesitate to turn and go to the self-checkout when I saw them starting to turn around, then I went by the rhizou again and carefully gave it an egg.

Something that I never understood was how enforcement managed to keep finding me no matter how many different universes I traveled to. I liked this universe though, even though it has some of the most chaotic stuff I have ever seen in it, I was going to stay. I still have to finish Kayla’s cake, and I need to fix my ship before I go anywhere, so there’s that.